Life Tip Fridays

Don’t Be Afraid to Fight

1462496316851[1]Have you ever done what someone else wanted just so you wouldn’t have to hear them lip about how you didn’t do it later on?  Is your hand raised?  Well, mine sure is.  One of the things I did while I was married, was go along with what my ex-husband wanted to do, even if I didn’t want to or didn’t agree with it.  Until one day, I realized that being a wife doesn’t mean I turn into a pushover.  You don’t lose your common sense and independence just because you’re married.  Sometimes, part of defending yourself means you’ll need to fight for the things that are important to you.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t disagree with everything my ex-husband wanted to do.  But if I had worked a long Continue reading “Don’t Be Afraid to Fight”

Life Tip Fridays

Don’t Settle

1461801127521[1]Today, the process of divorce is over, and I’m nearly 2 weeks single.  Looking back on my marriage, I think about all the things I agreed to that fell short of what I wanted….way short.   I can’t help but think that maybe all of the things I settled for, even back to the days my ex-husband and I were dating, ended up being the very things that contributed to the end of my marriage.  Before we got married, whenever I learned something about my ex-husband that I didn’t like or didn’t want in a partner, I said, ‘well it’ll be OK…that could change later’.  DO…NOT…DO…THAT.  Please do not do what I did.  What I should have done was take him at face value.  In the words of the great Maya Continue reading “Don’t Settle”

Life Tip Fridays

Stand up for Yourself!

1461193799374[1]One of the main things that stand out for me when I think back about my marriage is how much I let my ex-husband and my former in-laws say and do whatever they wanted.  I hated confrontation, and I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to upset anyone or cause any tension to this new family I had.   It wasn’t until I was going through my divorce that it really sunk in that I needed to defend myself.  I struggled with this throughout my marriage, because I asked my ex-husband to defend me.  I believed that it was his job to do, and I still believe that a husband is supposed to do this for his wife.  But this wasn’t something he was able to for me.  So, as I was faced with more Continue reading “Stand up for Yourself!”